Can My Husband Come Back with Me to the United States If We Marry In?

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Can my husband come back with me to the United States if we marry in Nigeria?

Are there too many cultural differences between the US and Nigeria, yes of course. Too many to consider a marriage, while I'll let you decide for yourself; that's culture difference number 1). Here in Nigeria or if you like Nija like we like to refer to us Nigerians. We don't necessarily tell people what to do, so that if anything goes wrong, you are not to blame or hold accountable; in other words we don't assume responsibility, like we say in the street “call the pap seller yourself, Incase it turns watery, it's your call” Culture difference number 2), it's not as fashionable as it is in the US for unmarried people to live together as boyfriend and girlfriend and be so warmly accepted; granted some people do it here, especially in cities like Lagos, Abuja, portharcut etc, still it's seriously frowned at here in our culture. Our culture views such unmarried couples as people who are living in fornication; having illegitimate sex, doesn't mean we're rightous either, just a cultural thing. Culture difference 3), if and when you eventually get married, it's good to tell you that you're not married to your spouse alone, but his/her extended families, t're in it with you as much as your spouse. What this means is that decisions are most times taken with those extended families in consideration. Am sure it's not like that in the US. Cultural difference 4), same sex marriage or relationship is not our thing. While it's in fashion and a norm in the US to introduce same sex person as your partner; married or unmarried, in our culture it is a taboo and will not only get you into trouble with the law, but ostracized by your family and people. Cultural difference 5), our wife's, regardless of their social status ate forever under their husbands, the men rule regardless. If you doubt me, ask Ngozi Okojoiweala, Kemi Adeosun etc. Cultural difference 6), it's really not a big deal if your husband has a side Chick or concubine, after all you should be happy you're the only recognized and legitimate wife; African men are polygamous in nature, t'll tell you. I know it's a big deal in the US, and if found out the man pays heavily, sorry not so here. Infact it's the other way. If you're​a man and don't have a side Chick, you're considered either poor, broke, impotent, holy or not man enough. Cultural difference 7) Social amenities are almost none existence here; so you'll have to deal with incessant generator pollution, bad roads, epileptic power supply, poor government healthcare, high cost of living, extortation by private schools who take advantage of failed government Schools. Cultural difference 8), our emergency 911 is not as swift, infact nothing close to what you have in the US, reason is simply. Most police stations do not have communication equipment, or there's no petrol in their vehicle. So don't expect a response from emergency unit Incase of emergency. Cultural difference 9), our government works for nobody except for themselves, so do not expect to complain about our elected leader or their subordinate and get a public inquiry like you set up to investigate President Trump. No it doesn't work that way here, you do not have such power. Just remembered something that would've followed earlier; your home even though it belongs to you as much as your husband, can ceases to if your husband wants you out, unlike the US where you have the right to ask your husband out, here you get out. 10), you go to church on Sundays or mosque on Fridays, whether or not you believe in their God, it's fashionable and if you don't you're not to be trusted, you are must probably a cultist. So you must identity with one religion, even public documents like our national ID card , International passpor etc also demands that. Funny right; we're are goodly people. I could go on and on, but I'll like to stop, seeing that am scaring you to hell with differences in our culture. Now whether or not you should relocate to Nigeria, should he ask in the future? I'd say no. But for sure, you need to always come visit to be able to know your husbands people, remember I told you about the extended family, yes t're your husband's people and can be very helpful incase of incasity like we say. Again, it'll offer you the advantage of telling your children about their fathers people and help them adapt to their multicultural background. But just before you conclude and take a decision, I'd say this. In my own opinion, in my very own opinion. I do not think cultural diversity should pose a threat to a good relationship heading towards marriage. My reason is simply. You're marrying to the man and not his culture, yes it matters, only as much as it Mirrow's the man or woman in question. He may be a Nigerian but he lives in the US and most likely is more American than Nigerian. So do your due diligence and decide for yourself if you trust him enough to spend the rest of your life with him. Yes I forgot to tell you, in Nigeria, we frown seriously at divorce and in fact don't encourage it, unlike the US. Thanks, hope I've helped a bit to help you make up your mind. Happy Married life in advance.

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